“I’m afraid I’ll never finish college. I’m afraid I’ll finish college with student loans I can never pay back. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree and won’t be able to find a job in that field. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree, get the job I dreamed of, and hate it.”—A Mental Illness Happy Hour listener whose list of fears matches mine four for four. Glad I’m not the only one. (via elener)
Confession: I have a friend who likes to text me at like 4am when he’s had nightmares or he can’t sleep or he just needs a friend. He thinks I’m always awake at 4am but really I go to bed around 12am and I change his text-tone to the loudest one I have just so it wakes me up when he needs me.
One time in a science class this guy was talking about how nerdy girls aren’t cute, but it is kinda sexy when a hot girl can use a microscope so I looked back at him and said, “yeah, it must be nice when a girl can finally see your penis”
It’s 2089. all cops have been replaced by genetically modified dogs that let children pet them, help old ladies cross the street, chase down criminals, never eat donuts, bark at cat-callers, analyze dna, easily track down murders, pee on white collar criminals, and tear the faces off of rapists. utopia has been reached.
How was this accomplished you ask? Well its simple Dogs are colorblind
White people:You have to wait for the facts before you talk about Ferguson!
Eyewitnesses:He was on his knees with his hands up.
Medical examiner:There was no gunpowder residue on Mike Brown, no sign of struggle, and there were entry wounds on the inside of his arms and the top of his head, implying he was on his knees with his hands up.
Convenience store owner and clerk:There was no robbery and we didn't call the cops.
Ferguson PD:Okay, we admit it, Wilson didn't know anything happened at the convenience store and we determined no crime was committed.
White people:Nobody can say what happened! We still have to wait for the facts to come in!